How would you finish that sentence? What is your next thought? Is it the one that tells you to ignore the first thought, or was it a yearning and desire to make a decision to change?
I moved into our inner-city home 16 years ago, and the master bedroom has green trees to one angle, and urban rooftops at the other. In the 16 years of living here, this billboard has dominated the skyline.
Through those years there have been many occasions where I have been burdened by complex decisions that needed to be made. At times I could hear my heart, soul and sometimes my voice cry out.
If only there was an obvious sign that would tell me what to do!
Decision-making is hard. An article by Dr Eva Krockow in Psychology Today states that the average person makes an eye-popping 35,000 choices per day. No doubt, most of them are unconscious responses to repeated actions or reactions at the moment. But what about the important ones, and I mean the really important ones? The ones that can alter your life and usually the lives of people around you.
As a career coach, at this time of year, a big decision some people grapple with is:
Should I stay or go?
Sometimes, this is about their role and their organisation, and on rare occasions, it is about a significant relationship.
Even if you are not reflecting on last year and grappling with a big decision, maybe someone you care about is. I believe there are four ways people approach decision-making, here is a diagram that I use in my workbooks, maybe it will be helpful for you right now:
Decisions when made, require some sort of change, impact, or sacrifice. Here are seven questions that can help you sense-check what you want to do.
What is the situation – have you considered it from all sides?
What are the ‘signs’ that are affirming or confirming that a decision needs to be made?
What do you really want from this situation, what is the detailed vision of what it will look like when you get what you want?
How does your decision affect your relationship with others?
What are your fears about making this decision, and where can you exercise bravery?
What would happen if you continued to ignore the signs? Consider your values, and ask yourself – do I really care? Is it really worth it?
What support mechanisms do you have in place to be able to stay resilient and hold true to the decision?
Once you have answered these questions you may feel an immediate sense of ‘rightness or lightness’ either in your body or your mind. In some cases, it may still be necessary to work through your process with a Coach or Therapist who is trained in asking even more questions to help your confidence and discuss the impacts.
Typically, people are then ‘good to go’. They create a plan and get on with it.
I will write more about decision-making this year. However, my challenge for you as you reflect on what 2024 might bring, is to be honest about the ‘signs’ that may be prompting you to make some changes now that will bring you peace and joy into your future.
You don't want to be the man who drowned in a flood and, upon arriving in heaven, berates God for not saving him, even though God sent him a jeep, a boat and a helicopter. Michael Hartzell, in his blog, shares the story very effectively, linking it to the personal life and business success of entrepreneurs. It’s a good reminder to look out for the signs. It’s natural that we might miss one or two, but sometimes we need to take a moment, take stock and maybe, just maybe the decision to seek help or take some actions might be the best one you ever make.
"May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears".
Nelson Mandella
Photo Credit Kenton Reeder.
Thank you for being a fellow traveller in 2023 and I look forward to more of the same in 2024.
If you want some help with your next brave decision, make contact here.
